Beloved
by Ocy
Summary: Just an angsty songfic with a slightly happy ending. I'm proud of it - Read and review? :) (Molly/Raven, by the way.)


(Disclaimer!- I don't own the characters in this story. They're copyright of the WWE. The song is copyright of the band VNV Nation.)  
  
  
  
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-It's colder than before,  
  
The seasons took all they had come for.  
  
Now winter dances here.  
  
It seems so fitting donÂ´t you think to dress the ground in white and grey. -  
  
Sometimes I wonder if I could have changed it all.. If I could have somehow known something would go wrong, that day. It all happened so very fast.. Oh god, how it hurt! But my pain didn't matter to me then, as I looked over at you. You, my beautiful lover, did not move, eyes opened and staring at the heavens. There was no life left in those eyes, no warmth left in your hands. I held you close and prayed as sincerely as I had ever done so in my life for God to give you back to me, or to at least take me as well.  
  
But God did not answer my prayer. I was left, in this cold, cruel world, without you here to protect me and love me.  
  
All I could do was sit, in the wreckage of the crash, ignoring the twisted metal protruding into my leg and side, maneuvering your lifeless head into my lap and stroking your braided hair, unable to cry as your blood mixed with mine.. Metal and glass had lodged itself in your chest, killing you upon impact.  
  
God had taken my beloved from me.  
  
  
  
- ItÂ´s so quiet I can hear, my thoughts touching every second that I spend waiting for you.  
  
Circumstances afford me, no second chance to tell you how much IÂ´ve missed you.. -  
  
  
  
My wounds ran deep, and my injuries were severe - But my grief for you surpassed worldly pain. Oh, dear heart, how I wanted to join you in Eternity! But it could not be. My body betrayed my wishes, and I healed. My scars will never heal, and they will always remind me of that day..  
  
And now I stand beside your grave. It is the only thing I see, the only thing in my world at this moment.. The rest is simply bleak emptiness. It's so quiet.. You had always loved the quiet, my dear Raven. You had told me once that you can hear your soul reaching out, if you were to listen close enough. You were true, my love. My soul reaches out, searching for yours - to no avail. Your soul has long departed.  
  
A part of me still refuses to believe that you are gone, and that I shall wake up one morning to see your smiling face beside me, reaching with a warm hand to brush your fingers across my cheeks and run them through my hair. And you would say, 'Good morning, beautiful', leaning over kiss my forehead..  
  
  
  
- My beloved do you know..  
  
when the warm winds comes again another year will start to pass?  
  
Please donÂ´t ask me why IÂ´m here.  
  
Something deeper brought me, than a need to remember. -  
  
  
  
How long has it been, my beloved? Since you were taken from me? I've lost track of the days.. It seems to have been forever. I can't help but to wish I were with you up in Heaven, that the crash that had ripped your life from you had taken me as well. That God would have mercy on my weary soul and strike me dead, so I could be with you once again..  
  
Not here, in this dreary, cruel world. More alone then I have ever felt, I continue to try convincing myself that you would not want me to be in such deep despair, wishing nothing more then for you to be by my side to hold me in your arms and smooth my hair comfortingly? Oh, why did you have to go?! Didn't I love you enough to keep you on this earth?  
  
  
  
- We were once young and blessed with wings,  
  
No heights could keep us from their reach, no sacred place we did not soar.  
  
Still greater things burned within us.  
  
I donÂ´t regret the choices that I made.  
  
I know youÂ´d feel the same. -  
  
  
  
I fight the tears back with all my strength, knowing how much you hated to see me cry. But memories are flooding into my mind now, hitting me with the force of a thousand wasted hopes and wishes. A pain that transcends all the hurt I've ever felt - Physical, emotional, everything. I fall to my knees with my head in my hands, the top of my head resting against your gravestone.  
  
Soon I am too weak to even keep myself upright, sinking to the ground completely. The flowers I had brought here with me - The small, delicate white roses, lay at my side. You helped me plant the rose bush, my love. Don't you remember? It was such a beautiful day out, with the sun shining and little butterflys flitting about carelessly.. And you stood not far off, watching me with a little smile on your lips, as I dug into the earth with care.  
  
I had blushed, upon seeing you staring at me adoringly. It made you chuckle a little, and you picked up the small, unplanted rose bush, kneeling down and helping me place it in the ground and pack the soil around it firmly. That same day, we had sat on a little hill and watched the sun set.. You had looked at me, smiling, and murmered, 'Molly, my dear?'. I looked up, smiling back, "Yes?" - And you twirled a tress of my hair around in your fingertips, murmering, '.. Marry me?'  
  
I was so happy.. I threw my arms around your neck and kissed you, "Of course!"  
  
Tears well up in my eyes as I remember.. We had made love that night, for the first time, under the stars.  
  
  
  
- My beloved do you know..  
  
how many times I stared at clouds, thinking that I saw you there?  
  
These are feelings that do not pass so easily.  
  
I canÂ´t forget what we claimed as ours. -  
  
  
  
Though I try to push the memories out of my mind, they keep coming. Only a month after that night, it had happened. God took you from me, leaving my spirit broken and scarred. I open my eyes to stare up at the sky. It is another bright day out, but there is no cheer in the sky, no butterflys gracing the flowers with their touch.  
  
Oh, how I wish you were here! Here to hold me in your arms and tell me that everything will be fine and that I don't have to be afraid. That you are still here to keep me safe and warm. But it's not to be. You aren't here, and you never will be again.. I miss you so dearly, my beloved! All I have left of you is my memories.. But there is something more.. Something precious and small..  
  
I pull myself up, eyes lifted towards the heavens. Tears streaming down my face, a feeling of peace passes over my soul. A small smile appears on my lips, and for the first time since your death, dear heart, I am accepting. Accepting that you are not on this earth any longer.. Accepting your passing into the next world..  
  
But I can feel you here, with me. So deeply, that it is almost as if I can smell your cologne, and feel your arms embracing me gently.  
  
  
  
- Moments lost though time remains.  
  
I am so proud of what we were.  
  
No pain remains, no feeling.  
  
Eternity awaits.  
  
Grant me wings that I might fly.  
  
My restless soul is longing.  
  
No pain remains, no feeling.  
  
Eternity awaits.-  
  
  
  
"I'll miss you, Raven.. But I know you're here with me.." I murmer, and place my arms around the small of my stomach, a bittersweet warmth enveloping me. It is you, my beloved Raven, and I know that you will always be with me.  
  
"And I'll raise our child, with all the love that you ever showed me, and more." 


End file.
